Trauma Bonding

Are you in a trauma bonded relationship? Do you allow your partner, friend, parent, child or coworker to treat you in ways that are hurtful, demeaning, disrespectful and abusive? If you answered yes, you might be in a trauma bonded relationship.

Signs of Trauma Bonding

• Your partner, friend, parent, child or coworker’s behavior is hurtful to you and you feel like you are walking on eggshells around them most of the time
• You justify and make excuses for their behavior
• There is intense chemistry in the beginning, which is mistaken for trauma bonding
• The relationship is chaotic
• If a loved one experienced what you are or have experienced in the relationship, you would strongly advice them to leave
• You refuse to look at the facts and you overlook the damage being done to you
• You feel like your relationship is a cat and mouse game
• False promises and rewards are given that never come to pass
• You are given just enough love to keep you addicted to the abuse
• You are still speaking about them and what they did to you years later

How Do We Overcome Trauma Bonding

Based upon the experts in the field, we must first recognize that the toxic relationship that we are in is abusive. When my eyes were opened to Narcissistic Personality Disorder, all of the pieces in the puzzle fit together perfectly. For many years my husband’s behavior made no logical sense to me, because I had no real understanding of NPD.

Knowledge is key and can’t be unlearned. Once I made the discovery into the dark world of NPD, I knew that I had to leave, but instead, I stayed for another year and a half and waited for God’s direction. When the timing was right, I found the perfect home to rent and everything else fell into place.

I am now on this amazing journey of healing and it’s shocking at how fast things have turned around for me. Below is a list of things that I have implemented into my daily life, which has made a significant difference in my recovery.

• Make a list of the Pro’s & Con’s of your abuser
• Recognize the abuse and call it what it is
• Share your story with a friend or family member who you trust
• Start journaling
• Stop blaming yourself
• Speak kindly to yourself
• Go no contact, if possible
• Remove every reminder of the narc from your life
• Embrace that their love was never REAL
• Learn about NPD so that you don’t make the same mistake again
• Evaluate honestly about your childhood
• Remove the negative labels or thoughts about yourself
• Believe in yourself and your dreams
• Forgiveness is huge
• Don’t allow your past to dictate your future
• Focus on the blessings in your life, not the trials
• Set aside time for yourself at least once a week or an hour a day
• Join a support group